Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Toys For Naughty Boys!

Part 1 - Prostate Probes


Many of my callers enjoy adding some props and toys to their experience during our calls.In particular, many callers enjoy a bit of prostate or anal play. There's nothing wrong with wanting to insert something into your ass, and many man find it highly pleasurable, but please choose something that is safe to use--not the end of a hairbrush or the handle of a screwdriver!  Fingers are great but can only reach so far, and only have so much girth. Not to mention that it's hard to get the smell of ass off of your fingers.  Some men fear that using a dildo in their ass may make them gay. A dildo or plug in your ass is also no more likely to make you gay than it would make a lesbian straight.  I have selected many items in my affiliate store, based in their quality, durability, as well as the use of body safe materials that can be sterilized.

If you are a beginner to anal play, I highly recommend that you start with a small, silicone toy. For most guys, their eyes are bigger then their ass--so my advice is to go smaller than you think you can handle..All anal toys should have a flared base to keep the toy from being sucked up into your ass!    I have selected toys that are made from nonporous materials that you can sterilize, such as silicone, stainless steel, aluminum, hard plastic,  or glass.  Most of these toys can be cleaned using antibacterial soap or sterilized by boiling or by cleaning with 10% bleach or hydrogen peroxide, but always check the manufacterer's cleaning instructions.   Each material has its own unique properties such as smoothness, weight, and ability to retain heat or cold, and these should be considered when selecting a toy. I'll go over these properties briefly:
  • Silicone - can be soft and pliable or fairly firm depending on the type of silicone used.  Some toys feature two types of silicone to replicate a "realistic" feel,  and are known as 'dual density' toys. Silicone can be slightly cold at room temperature but can be warmed up by putting the toy under your arm or by running warm water over it.  Though smooth, silicone should be well lubricated as it has some drag to it.  There are exceptions, but generally use water based lubricants with silicone toys--silicone lubricants can degrade the silicone in the toy unless the manufacturer recommends otherwise. Silicone is also notorious for collecting lint, so it's advised to keep your toys in a box or plastic bag. 
  • Stainless steel and aluminum. Metals can be cold at room temperature.  Metal toys can be quickly warmed by running the toy under warm water, or even intentionally heated or chilled in the freezer.  Stainless is heavier than aluminum and the weight is part of its appeal.  The surface is extremely smooth, and is compatible with all  lubricants. 
  • Glass - Glass toys are made from borosilicate glass, popularly known by the trade name Pyrex.  It is  shatter resistant, and you'll find that these toys are not fragile and are very safe for insertion. Like metal they can be cold at room temperature, but can be warmed under warm water.  You should avoid extreme changes in temperature to avoid breakage.  Like metal, glass is also very smooth, fairly weighty and is compatible with all types of lubricants.
  • Hard Plastic. Often toys are made from ABS plastic. Some hard plastic can be  porous, and if so, it may not be sterilized or shared unless you cover it with a condom. Hard plastic is lightweight, smooth, and doesn't tend to be cold at room temperature.  Hard plastic can be used with all types of lubricants. 

Plugs and prostate stimulators are inserted and worn--they are not thrust in and out like a dildo.  If you think you would enjoy clenching around a toy that is left in place, a plug or prostate stimulator is for you. For a beginner, I recommend that you go with a smaller, silicone toy such as the Fun Factory Bootie   if you desire something a bit soft, or a hard plastic prostate stimulator such as the Aneros if you want something firmer.   Glass and metal plugs such as the Njoy Pure Plug (the medium is fine for most anal n00bs) can be an excellent choice if you enjoy temperature play or don't mind warming the toys prior to insertion.   If you're unsure about the size, you can always try out an this economy set of 3 plugs by Trinity Vibes

If you want the sensation of being fucked, you'll want to go with a dildo.  Made of silicone, the Tantus Silk comes in three sizes and  is completely smooth, can be used with a strapon harness.  The Vixen Mistress is slightly larger, but still slim, and a good choice for a beginner.  If you're wanting something a little more realistic, a dual density toy like  the Vixen VixSkin Spur   or the larger Tantus 02 Adam may be good choices. If you'd like your dildo to have balls, then something like the Vixen VixSkin Johnny might be a good fit. 

Look through my affiliate store and see if anything might fit nicely up your ass!  I appreciate your support through your purchases.  Once your new toy arrives, call me on NiteFlirt and I'll help you find creative ways to use it.  



Friday, October 5, 2012

Miss Betty, Are You a Real Domme or a Pretend Domme?

An open letter to a caller who wishes to learn to serve. 

This afternoon,  a first time caller to my hypnosis listing called me, using an approach that I almost always find offensive. He was interviewing me, inquiring about whether I really enjoyed the the interests I've written about in my listings, or if I was pandering. For the record, I thought it might be useful to post a modified version of the email I sent to him later in the day. 
Dear caller, 
I was thinking about our discussion this afternoon.  You seem like a bright guy who is seeking a genuine experience, but I'm not sure that your approach is going to get you what you're wanting--on NiteFlirt, or anywhere.  
If someone calls me, and I don't think that we'll get along, the call doesn't last very long. You've experienced this yourself.  I was, however, impressed by how respectfully you ended the call. Most guys just hang up. Instead, you very graciously thanked me for my time. So that's why I'm writing.
 I think that you're trying, but I'm not so sure you're in the right mind frame to find a truly dominant lady  vs. someone who is pretending to be one.  You almost demanded that I prove myself not to not be disingenuous. You're smart enough to know that on NiteFlirt, which is a pay-to-play phone sex experience, any woman you call is likely to bend herself to your needs to win your business.  I could have very easily identified your desires and told you what you wanted to hear.  If you find a Mistress who does, more power to her, and good luck to you learning to serve, as you'll have a very top-from-the-bottom experience.  As it should be---you are, after all, paying for it, right?  
NiteFlirt is filled with women who have inexpensive rates and anything goes types of listings. I am not one of them. My listings are on very specific topics. My rates are par with other competent, intelligent NiteFlirt Mistresses. My feedback is consistently excellent from a variety of regular, articulate callers.  Like any person who works for a living, I do my job for a variety of reasons--that I happen to enjoy it  comes through. I like to think that I might be good at it.   I have very deep, lasting and fulfilling relationships with some of my regular callers.    
So when you asked me about whether I was pandering,  I found the question to be insulting.   "Miss, prove to me that you're not just doing this kind of work for the money" is what I heard.  See the conundrum?   And no, you weren't that direct, but you were pretty close to it.  
The last thing you said to me, before thanking me for my time (and again--that was very refreshing) was: "Perhaps I like to dream."  Please do. Phone sex is land of fantasy, smoke and mirrors. Don't go poking about and asking phone Dommes if they are truly firm behind their corsets.  If you like the way that she presents, submit yourself-- try a session.  You will have a much more enjoyable time, you'll learn more, and you'll learn to serve much more quickly.  The callers who see what's behind my corset are the ones who take the time to invest themselves with me, the ones who truly submit--the ones who approach me with a high level of respect, right from the outset.
You asked me what kind of submissive I enjoy--and to answer: one who is aware of his desires and who presents himself as such.   Try: "Miss, I am a submissive male interested in the following: [.... ]. Do you think that I might be suited to serve you?"
Talk for a while. Get to know me.  You may be surprised at how real I am.  
Betty